Bath time!

This is going to be another of those 'spot the tenuous link' posts, but with eight months of daily blogging about not going to Tesco still to go, sometimes I've got to be a bit creative.

I woke up yesterday morning to a bank holiday day off work (a rare treat) and the sun streaming in through the window (even rarer). Now I know most people when faced with this situation may start thinking of pub beer gardens, barbecues and trips to the seaside, but for me it could only mean one thing.... HORSE BATH TIME!

"Mmmm mud"

Yep, my scruffy hippo of a horse has spent the whole winter doing this (pic left).....

And of course it would be slightly cruel to start washing him in the freezing temperatures we've been 'enjoying' so far this year, so he's been getting dirtier and dirtier. One memorable day he even managed to glue one of his eyes closed by rubbing his face in a puddle and then baking it dry. Plus he's currently losing his winter coat.

If I pat him a cloud of dust billows upwards like an old carpet at a flea market. So it was time to take action. It was time for the much anticipated first bath of the year.

For anyone who hasn't ever bathed a horse before, it's a long, drawn-out and messy process, that usually results in all the water and filth from my horse being transferred onto me.

So, in case anyone wants to try this at home, to bath a horse, you will need:

1 horse (dirty)

1 hosepipe (spray attachment useful)

Several buckets of warmer water (for the delicate bits)

1 bottle of shampoo

1 bottle of conditioner

1 comb

1 flannel

Several large towels

Lots of patience

Really long arms

Tip-toes (to be used liberally)

Clothes you may never be able to wear again

And here's where the tenuous supermarket-free link comes in, because my horse is an Avon boy through-and-through. No supermarket-bought products for him. He likes Avon's 'Quick Touch' high gloss range, including the leave-in conditioner, and also the Skin-So-Soft Dry Oil Body Spray, which works better than any fly repellent I've ever tried at keeping the midges off. And of course, if you're lucky enough to know an Avon lady, then you're also helping to support a small-scale local entrepreneur.

See, told you it would be tenuous.

So horse bath time yesterday afternoon went pretty well. Horse generally enjoys such events - who wouldn't if they were covered with eight months-worth of dirt?! In fact he enjoyed it so much that he just closed his eyes and went to sleep in the sunshine while I pampered and scrubbed.

The usual transferral of water and mud onto me also happened. Highlights included the squirty attachment flying off the end of the hosepipe, meaning I copped for a face-full of spray, and a stream of filthy water running down my arms and back as I reached up (using the aforementioned tip toes) to wash his face and ears.

Basically like the least sexy wet T-shirt contest you have ever seen. With only one, slightly bad-tempered, contestant.

But the mission was accomplished, I now have a lovely clean horse for about.... ooooooh three days max, until he finds a puddle to wallow in again.

And that was my bank holiday without supermarkets.